The past few weeks we have been watching a family of doves nesting in our basketball hoop. I had no idea they would offer me a lesson about letting go.
I first noticed them when I was sweeping the side yard and saw bird droppings. A lot of bird droppings. I thought oh, the birds must be perching on the basketball hoop and leaving their mess. When I looked up I came face to face, well maybe 8 feet, but face to face with a mother dove perched in her nest where the backdrop and hoop meet. I quietly moved away.
Of course, not to leave something so beautiful and special alone, I went and got my camera and took a picture, quietly and slowly.
I’ve secretly watched the mother sitting in her nest and over the past several days have noticed two more little heads pop up from under her body.
Before I knew it, those two little heads grew and were almost the same size as mom.
This morning I decided to quietly take my camera and try and get another picture. I knew it had to be done soon, because of how fast they were growing and since it is spring I knew they would be leaving the nest soon.
Being Forced to Let Go Sucks
To my shock and sadness, the family was not only gone, but so was the nest.
I think about how quickly birds raise their young and then boot them out, or in this case, talon their young out the nest. Little did I know they also pack up their home and leave, completely, lock, stock, and barrel. And, in this case, twig, leaves and padding. Everything! Gone!!!
When I think of my own young, it takes quite a bit longer for them to strengthen their wings and trod on off to the great big world out there. Occasionally they come home to share, visit, get well fed, food and spiritually, but then they move on. I do so miss when they were young, although I do not miss the daily duties that keep them moving and learning, i.e., lunches, laundry, house cleaning, etc.
It made me a little sad that I would not get to look into that mother dove’s eyes any longer, connecting and sending my love to her.
Until I was sitting at the computer looking out onto my backyard. There, under the grapefruit, tree were two doves. They were cleaning themselves, walking and just enjoying themselves in my backyard. Yes, of course, I grabbed the camera. But then, I just sat there and watched and allowed them to be in their moment enjoying themselves. I did too, enjoy them and myself, connecting and being in peace. Just letting them be. Just as I need to let my young be, themselves, growing, learning and experiencing the great big world we call life.
My kids are smart, fun, creative and have a great sense of right and wrong. I know they’ll survive whatever comes their way because like the dove, we loved them, unconditionally. We may not be able to be there to always protect them. Just love them and have fun with them and knowing they have the love to survive anything.
In Texas, they tell it like it is, respectfully. In Texas and in Hawaiian culture, younger generations respect their elders, or Aunties and Uncles in Hawaiian. I was brought up to respect my elders. Why? Not because they are smarter and/or know more, well, that part is probably true, but because they deserve to be heard and to impart their wisdom on the younger generations.
I had that lesson today. I was trying to impart my opinion/philosophy on someone in their 20’s and I was rather rudely told, well, told off. WoW!
I respected their opinion and told them so, as well as, reminding them that if you post something on Facebook, then you have to be prepared to get the good response as well as the not so good. Right? Well, I am also thinking that they probably weren’t really mad at me, just upset that they have some other battle going on and I seem to have popped their balloon, maybe they weren’t having such a great day. It’s all good.
I reminded them that I loved them and I would mind my own business next time. If they want my opinion, they can ask me for it, respectfully given, and respectfully received.
I Expect Respect Because I Give It
I’ve noticed in the two climates mentioned above, Texas and Hawaii, that the young for the most part, from what I’ve seen and experienced, respect their elders. They refer to an older generation as Ma’am and Sir in Texas. I love that. And, I’ve experienced it and relish when I visit as I appreciate being honored.
Same thing in Hawaii. I’ve volunteered at a Hawaiian descendants summer camp and the first day when I was introduced to the attendee’s, the matriarch asked the children what I was to be called if they needed my help. In unison, their response was, “Auntie Anne”. Wow! When I heard them say that, I felt it in my body like a wave upon a shore, a wave of respect and love.
What I’ve also noticed in both those cultures, because Texas is a culture in and of itself. Thank God! Most everyone I’ve met actually looks me in the eye when in conversation. They hold the door for me/us and genuinely seems to care. Now I know that that is not everyone and I am sure that I’ve missed some folks who do not do the things mentioned.
Different Places Have Different Cultures
I am just saying that I’ve noticed a difference between these two cultures and climates and my own here in California. Are we too laid back, go with the flow (one of my favorite mantras)? Or, do we truly not care how we treat others especially the elder generations? I don’t really know. What I do know, is that if someone I care about whether they are my age, my children’s age or even older, I, as Aretha Franklin sings, R.E.S.P.E.C.T. them first and foremost. Even if it’s the first time meeting them.
Now if I know them well enough that I think they need some parental input, then I give it lovingly and honestly. Why? Because if I feel I need to say something, then I say it, coming from the heart. And, I let them know that I love them and that I’m saying it because it needs to be said. P.E.R.I.O.D. If I am so concerned what others think of me, then I’m going to shrivel up and die never speaking my truth. Not happening. Not in this life time.
Truth and Respect Go Hand in Hand
And, it is not just because I am a life coach or parent or friend. It is because the truth always, A.L.W.A.Y.S. prevails, always. So, if I don’t speak my truth about something to someone that I feel needs to be said, then I die and so do they, a little bit. This is what works for me. If I don’t, then it festers and over a period of time. Over that period of not voicing my heart, disease sets in and illness prevails, the death of the soul, the heart and possibly the body.
Now, what you do with what I’ve written or said, that is up to you. I am an open book, and I am willing, or should I say, W.I.L.L.I.N.G., to put myself out there in full expression of my most beautiful and amazing self, because it is no different than what Jesus did. I will gladly take the flowers and stones if that is what anyone chooses to throw my way. Why? Because that is my truth. And, I know that I speak my truth from an unconditional loving heart. Open to the gifts, whatever they are.
Please, please, please BE RESPECTFUL and speak with a loving heart.
A very dear friend of mine suggested that I blog. So, here I go. Not knowing what to blog about, I thought I would start out with what “being happy” is for me. Take from it what you will, try it on, see if it fits, if not, don’t use it or maybe if something remotely resonates, then make it your own. There are no rules. I do not have to do anything. Truly, if you think about it, the only rules that I live by are the ones I created. These rules are also called beliefs.
Being happy for me is about being in completely joy anywhere with anyone under any circumstance. We all have lives to lead and inevitably we have to relate, be with others. Some make us very happy while others, well, don’t. It is just that.
I have been researching my whole life through experiences, although I did not know it at the time, but I was creating a manual if you will, of what my likes and dislikes are. I also created within that what and who I want to play with. Why? Because when I make life a game, then everything that I experience I can much easily choose whether I like it or not. Do I want to research it more? Is it a keeper or maybe I’ll hang around the belief or the person for a specific need that needs fulfilling.
Thoughts, Beliefs and Actions
My beliefs initially were created from a thought. Thoughts become things if we create the momentum. The momentum of a thought is created within 17 seconds. What?!!! 17 seconds, yes, just try it out. Create a thought and count along with it. Like a car getting into first gear after awhile, it builds momentum, then after 68 seconds the car, me, has built momentum into a belief. For example, It’s a beautiful day, I could wash the car, I really don’t want to wash the car, maybe I’ll take a walk, yes I’ll take a walk, wonder what I’ll see, don’t know and will appreciate whatever it is I do see, I love my life.
So, that was pretty easy, do you think? Try the other avenue, It’s a beautiful day, I could wash the car, I really don’t want to wash the car, maybe I’ll take it somewhere and pay someone, then I’ll spend money and I don’t want to spend money, why can’t my husband know that I want the car washed and he just do it. I do not like my car, I’m mad at my husband and I need more money.
Try it out and see. While doing this, take a body scan and see where the feelings that arise come up. Do you feel exhilaration and joy? Where? Your heart or head. How about the feeling of anger and upset? Do you feel it in the same place but maybe just a tightening of the chest and now you have a headache. Good to know, is that all of this whether good or not so good is that it is just feedback. No one is wrong.
When we become aware of these feelings then we are on the right path of enlightenment and pure joy most of the time. In time with deep breathing and meditation and just being aware, you will find as I did that life can be incredibly beautiful, happy, joyous, creative, bountiful and the list goes on.
Everyone finds immediate joy in something. Think of one thing right now that brings you immediate joy. Mine is being outside in nature. When I think of nature I am at ease, calm and very happy. There are no attachments or condition on nature, for me, that requires me to be happy. In other words, I live life unconditionally more and more in love with everything because I go to my Happy Place, nature, most if not all of the time. Whether I am home creating quilts, at work, driving, in a city with all the hustle and bustle; I find joy in everything.
When this happens I see more beauty, my vibration and energy are high and so I am attracting the same energy level. People, things, abundance, joy are coming my way because that is what I am putting out vibrationally. Like attracts like.
Letting Go of Attachments
It is when we put conditions and attachments on people and things that gets us off of our path and unhappy and cranky. Think of something in the past where this happened to you. Could have even been unconscious at a dinner or meeting or with the family and out of the blue something was said, not said or done or not done and then you get on that hamster wheel of fear.
Yes, that is what negative emotion is is it is all based on some fear created by our belief system. And, our belief system was created by our thoughts. These thoughts and belief systems were started when we were very young and then there were other incidences that occurred later in life that validated those beliefs. Now they are pretty permanent in our cellular structure.
Are You Using Meditation?
First and foremost is to breathe, deep gut breaths, then just be with the feeling, whether good or not so good. If you have the time, try to figure out where it came from. If not, no worries. Really. Just go to your happy place.
I have found that daily meditation, walks in nature are my source of immediate joy. Just because I am considered an adult by my age I love being a child, acting like one and really getting into imagination and creativity. My favorite sport is laughing and it is risk-free, I don’t need special insurance for it, and most importantly, is that it is contagious.
One of my recent favorite sources of inspiration besides the above is Abraham-Hicks. Check her out on the internet, YouTube and Pinterest. Oh, and Pinterest is another source of fun and joy for me too! Actually I have lots. Lots and lots of joy and happy people, places and things.
Key to all of this is being congruent with my source, my spiritual guidance is always showing up especially in nature, smiling giggling children, quilting and life experiences.
Check out my website, www.cre8tiveconnections.com, go outside, find your happy place and keep that energy that vibration of pure joy within you and ride the path, your path of joy, enlightenment and happiness.