The past few weeks we have been watching a family of doves nesting in our basketball hoop. I had no idea they would offer me a lesson about letting go.
I first noticed them when I was sweeping the side yard and saw bird droppings. A lot of bird droppings. I thought oh, the birds must be perching on the basketball hoop and leaving their mess. When I looked up I came face to face, well maybe 8 feet, but face to face with a mother dove perched in her nest where the backdrop and hoop meet. I quietly moved away.
Of course, not to leave something so beautiful and special alone, I went and got my camera and took a picture, quietly and slowly.
I’ve secretly watched the mother sitting in her nest and over the past several days have noticed two more little heads pop up from under her body.
Before I knew it, those two little heads grew and were almost the same size as mom.
This morning I decided to quietly take my camera and try and get another picture. I knew it had to be done soon, because of how fast they were growing and since it is spring I knew they would be leaving the nest soon.
Being Forced to Let Go Sucks
To my shock and sadness, the family was not only gone, but so was the nest.
I think about how quickly birds raise their young and then boot them out, or in this case, talon their young out the nest. Little did I know they also pack up their home and leave, completely, lock, stock, and barrel. And, in this case, twig, leaves and padding. Everything! Gone!!!
When I think of my own young, it takes quite a bit longer for them to strengthen their wings and trod on off to the great big world out there. Occasionally they come home to share, visit, get well fed, food and spiritually, but then they move on. I do so miss when they were young, although I do not miss the daily duties that keep them moving and learning, i.e., lunches, laundry, house cleaning, etc.
It made me a little sad that I would not get to look into that mother dove’s eyes any longer, connecting and sending my love to her.
Until I was sitting at the computer looking out onto my backyard. There, under the grapefruit, tree were two doves. They were cleaning themselves, walking and just enjoying themselves in my backyard. Yes, of course, I grabbed the camera. But then, I just sat there and watched and allowed them to be in their moment enjoying themselves. I did too, enjoy them and myself, connecting and being in peace. Just letting them be. Just as I need to let my young be, themselves, growing, learning and experiencing the great big world we call life.
My kids are smart, fun, creative and have a great sense of right and wrong. I know they’ll survive whatever comes their way because like the dove, we loved them, unconditionally. We may not be able to be there to always protect them. Just love them and have fun with them and knowing they have the love to survive anything.
In my earlier post, Are You a Plate Spinner, I spoke of letting go of spinning a lot of my plates. What I did not allude to was the path that I took to allowing myself to let my spinning plates fall. Actually, I did not let them fall; I just let go of having to keep them spinning.
In other words, I did not do what most everyone thought I would or should do, and that was rescuing, solving, or advising them when they came to me for help.
I gave myself time. Time to ponder who I was and what my purpose in my life was, for me.
How Did I Do This?
First, was to get back to my meditation practice. Every day. For at least 15 minutes. Some days it was longer and others a few shorter, but to get back into the routine of getting up in the morning and taking 15 minutes to quiet my mind. It did take some time to getting used to, as my mind runs at at least 60 mph if not faster. Then there’s the ego that likes to distract or discount my meditation.
So, I had to quiet my ego. Tell it to take a time out. Sweep out the cobwebs in my mind, open the windows, dust and clean out what did not serve my greater good. Not that I was going to fill it with anything, mind you, just a spring cleaning.
Meditation is very important on many levels. Health is first and foremost because by quieting the mind, it calms the heart and allows me to remain at peace when there is chaos all around. And, for me, that was the most important aspect of why I meditate. To be at peace and remain calm while going through my day, when traffic might be bad, work can get tense, or a friend is in a state of panic. All of these occurrences are going to come up in our lives and how we respond to them is what determines our health and longevity in our life.
Second, I had to let people know that I was not going to show up as I used to, that I was taking a sabbatical of sorts. For some, this was okay, but for others, not so. As stated in my earlier post, some got a really big chip on their plate. What I learned during all of this was that what others think of me is none of my business. And, vice versa. When I removed myself from how others thought of me whether I showed up as they desired or not, my life got a whole lot easier. It took time, but it was and still is so well worth it.
Third, was finding my joy. I had to do a lot of soul searching and I came up with the simple rule that I live by and that is to have fun. Being child-like, is first and foremost how I live my life. Remember what you used to do when you were a child? Or, how you looked at life when you were young? Play is the highest form of research and that is how I live almost every day. Yes, I do have moments and some days that I have to do some things that are required but what I do about those moments and days is that I make it a game.
Why? Because I get more excited and when I get more excited I see the possibilities in any situation. It is easy, so easy! When we start being child-like, we get the opportunity to feel the energy of our source, God, who wants us to be just like the child we were and if you think about it, always will be. We are all someone’s child, and, we are also God’s child. Made in the image and likeness of Him. All he wants of us, is to be happy, joy-filled and create a beautiful and fun place to live in for the short period we have on this Earth.
Take the time to Meditate, be Truthful and Playful.
“The spiritual path is a constant turning within, turning the light of the super conscious into the dark corners and recesses of the mind. What is hidden shall be revealed, and so it is on this path as man reveals his Self to himself.” ~ Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami, aka Gurudeva
Wow! Isn’t that the truth. Pretty much sums it up for me and my life’s journey. And, it is because of this journey of mine why I became a certified spiritual life coach.
My awareness to bring more in the moment gives me the opportunity to see and revel in my truth. Good and the not so good. Not that this truth is always joy filled but I am uplifted to see, feel and hear my truth.
And, when the dust settles I can rejoice in knowing that I am who I am, perfect, whole, and complete, full of love, joy and compassion.
Most of my struggle is in the “wrapping my head around” the new awakening. It’s not the “aha’s” that are challenging me, it’s me challenging the understanding, trying to fit it in to what’s there already. Trying to make it fit in, I believe is what I’m needing to not do. That’s the WoW!
Over analyzing, instead of just being aware of this new awareness and letting “It” be.
And, key is in the knowing of this newness and embracing all of it rather then categorizing, fitting, analyzing “It.”
Cleaning My Internal House
That is what is the dark corners and recesses that need vacuuming and clearing away. Cleaning house to to speak.
So, Open the windows, dust, vacuum and polish your soul of your truth. Meditate and visualize opening your inner windows, clean them, then dust and vacuum or sweep the dark corners and recesses. Then revel in the beauty of your sould, your home, the living temple that resides in your truth.
“Happy Birth Day to Me, Happy Birth day to Me, Happy Birth Day Dear Anne, Happy Birth Day to Me. And, many more on Channel 4, and Scooby Doo on Channel 2”
I am so excited! It’s going to be my birthday on Sunday February 28th. I am going to be 59 years old. I love the color purple and all of its shades, hues and tones. My favorite gemstone is amethyst and lately, emerald. I like green, there are 50,000 shades of green. I like that.
I am very happy and grateful that I get to celebrate my life of 59 years young. Really, in the great big scheme of things that is a blip on the radar.
Since, it’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to, dance if I want to, shout out loud if I want to, eat what I want and wear what I want. AND, I don’t care what others say or think of me. If I happen to make them smile and giggle, well then by golly more power to you for seeing the fun in it all. The childlike attitude, the silliness and spontaneity of being authentic.
I like to feel happy so I work at savoring in the feeling of happiness, of joy. Yes, there are times when I am not so silly or happy and that’s okay too, its just when I let that not so good feeling bring me down. I used to stay there for awhile and sometimes too long. I am learning cuz I’m still so young at 59. There is so much more to know and breathe in and experience and see. I hope, dream and believe I can live for 20 more years or 30 more years just so I can see and experience more.
I love more. Sometimes I love everything just as it is and I’m okay with the beauty that is ALWAYS surrounding me. The unconditional love that the world is smiling, dancing, playing and experiencing itself.
It’s kinda like a bird or a dog or a flower or a 2 year old. They all are just themselves living in the moment of their truth. Calm, content, happy, being, playing, eating, drinking in all that is their truth.
I am happy that I get to celebrate my birth day because that means I’m living and growing and expanding and breathing. And, I’m okay with me being me whatever that might show up to be at any given moment. Be happy Being you wherever you are with whatever your life is at this very moment. Whatever that may look like. Feel that cellularly and let it really sink in. If it’s a happy feeling, let it expand and really watch yourself grow. If it’s not such a great feeling, that’s okay too. Allow yourself to be with that feeling and tell that feeling that it’s time to go. Bye Bye. Now go find your happy place, something that makes you feel good. Now let that feeling really sink in and allow yourself to let it expand, breathe, grow and cement that in cellularly. So, next time you find yourself not going the way you want. Stop. Breathe. Remember that feeling of happiness. It might even be just a feeling of calm, contentment.
Life is meant to be joy filled, contentment, peace, and celebration, of life. Can we be that way all of the time. Heck no. That’s okay, though, because it just shows we are human.
We are spiritual beings in a human form here in earth school. It’s a learning, expanding, growing, experiencing everything there is to experience, feel and sense.
Celebrate your birth day with me on mine. Go outside, play, run, color outside the lines, paint, go to the movies, go bowling or ride your bike. Just go and have fun. Even if you are by yourself. You are fun so go have fun with fun!
Just had an energy healing. It was amazing. Uncomfortable, not so much anymore, unearthing, diving deep and being awakened to my truth is the essential benefit.
Most of my life I have been on a quest. It started with questioning why I thought or felt the way I did. Searching, being the student and learning the “Why’s” of me have been instrumental to my growth, for me, as Anne.
This last process took me back to a very early age, 1 1/2 years of age, when my father transitioned. He transitioned too soon, as far as everyone who knew him felt. Unbeknownst to me, he took with him a little part of each of us, my Mom, brother and sister.
I knew this quite a while ago after a previous journey with a Shamen here in town. What I didn’t know but suspected was that the little part of me that he took, was blocking me from being my truest self. Oh, I have done the work. First with a psychiatrist, then a therapist which eventually led me to my own research within philosophy and religion, basically, a spiritual student seeking out the highest form of assistance in uncovering who I truly am.
Positive Energy, Positive Life
I AM a child, of God, where I placed myself into a family where I would learn. Learn what my purpose is and what I needed to learn to fulfill that purpose.
There were many experiences during my early years until early adulthood and to be truthful, I’d say that it was 50/50. 50 percent of the time good and 50 percent of the time not so good. And, know that it is all good because from the not so good aspect, that was my teacher. Learning the why’s of myself and others. Not so much to fully understand but to learn what worked for me and what did not. What was truth and not my truth.
Through the years because of the healing work that I have been doing, there are certain times when I uncover a large block to reveal a very tightly protected part of my soul.
That is what occurred for me today. I am writing about it because that is part of my purpose here on this planet Earth. I am writing about it so my voice can be seen and heard. I am writing about it so others who have had any inkling, desire, or intuitive sense that “there is more to me” then meets their own eyes, to go out and search for someone who can assist them on their quest.
Trust the Energy Within
At first I thought it was scary. Oh, dear, what will they uncover. That pretty much has gone by the wayside. Why? Because I have done it enough to know that withholding that inner voice and quest for understanding the self more, only makes the pain and suffering deeper and harder when it is time to uncover. And, that is okay. It is okay because everyone is on their own path with their own time to discover and rediscover. We are here for eternity and so there is plenty of time.
If you are feeling any angst, fear, despair, hatred, resentment towards yourself or anyone else, it is time to seek help. You can find any type of healer, be it a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, Reiki, psychic or an energy healer by just asking. Ask out loud for the right healer to be brought to you. It is amazing what will show up in the form of an advertisement, a friend, a book at the bookstore or “a voice”. Be open to what you will receive. Feed the love that is you for the healing that you desire.
Allowing yourself the gift of healing is the greatest gift of all.
I AM matters because without me being me standing in my true authentic self, then I can’t see the I AM of you, others, plants, animals and the Universe as their true authentic selves.
When I shine my light am I AM, then it allows others to shine their light and unconditional love.
I AM what I AM and I AM many things
I AM light, the energy from Source that when I allow the opening of my heart to receive these gifts,I AM empowered to expand, grow, experience, grow some more, and to always, always, always shine brightly.
I AM truth, the truth that I KNOW I AM as Anne, walking MY PATH, for me so I can shine brightly charged by the light energy that is my Source asI AM to walk. I walk this path every day, receiving, knowing, experiencing the truth of Source as Anne so I can share with those that want to learn, love and laugh.
I AM unconditional love. This is so freeing as I AM allowed to experience and give AND receive the same back tenfold. It is so simple, that sometimes I wonder why it took me so long to allow these truths, bow to these truths as my truth. Unconditional love is allowing, relishing in myself and others as their true authentic selves NO MATTER. Allowing others to be who they need to be in that moment. Why? Because it is their path, their story, their life just as it is mine on my path, my story and my life.
I AM creative, co-creative, dancing with my Source in the path of life, my life. To find the co-creative other to expand that creativity beyond its current form. Why? Because that is our purpose. To create, co-create and expand what has transpired so we can move on. Unless I move, the place where I AM will be the place where I will always be. That is not me.I AM, WE ARE meant to learn the teachings that our ours to learn, no one else’s, they are ours.
Simplify and Be
I AM FUN! I love life, I love games, I love to make life a game. Why? Because then it frees me to find the joy in EVERYTHING! Everything is as it should be. Why? Because when we are frustrated, angry or upset, depressed, anxious about where we are, there is a great enlightenment around the corner and we need to let those negative emotions go so we can get moving on our path.
Breathe, relax and ALLOW the unfolding of what is. When I make life a game regarding situations/experiences that are not supporting my greater good, then I can receive the next step on my FUN, CREATIVE, TRUTHFUL, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND LIGHT to move forward. Why? Because that is what I AM TO DO, we ALL are to do. Don’t, and you stay stagnate stuck in a muck of the mild river of misery.
Why not be the I AM that we are all waiting for. BE the light, energy, unconditional love truth that is you. Not sure who you are? Breathe, BE, just BE, take the time for self-care. It may seem selfish to others, but until you start taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.
The Universe has all the time in the Universe, we in the physical realm, do not. It can be in this lifetime or another. Your choice.
BE YOU! Be the I AM!
Just for fun, of course, get a pad of paper and pen/pencil/crayon/felt marker (color is more fun). Write at the top of the page in the middle,I AM. Now just start writing positive words that empower and enlighten you, be truthful. BE I AM
SILLY (yes, because I really AM)
Now keep going. Do this once a day. Use different words. Find the ones that really resonate with you. Empower those words. Come up with a common 12 word list that you can look at every day. Color them. Use different color of paper. HAVE FUN! Be patient with yourself. Be loving to yourself. Be selfish with the self care that you need. Even if it means standing in your own integrity of your truth REGARDLESS of what others think, do or say.