This is a sewing machine. A Singer Rocketeer, Model 502A. It is similar to the one that my mother taught my sister and I how to sew with. It is a solid metal, heavy, work horse. I could sew ANYTHING with this baby. Who knew this machine would become my connection to creativity and happiness?
My mother was a very creative and talented sewer, not a seamstress, but a creative sewer and a fabulous knitter.
Learning to be Creative When Young
She started to teach my sister when she was 11 years old. When I saw what they were doing, I wanted to join in. Not sew much for the sewing aspect, but for the camaraderie and companionship that I thought was happening. Little did I know that by encroaching upon their togetherness, that I would actually enjoy the creative process of sewing.
I had no idea that I was driven, passionately, to create with fabric, especially colorful fabric. As I advanced through the stages of “making” something, anything, I realized I thrived on the challenge of learning another new aspect of creating. Buttonholes, zipper installations, welt pockets, collars, waistbands, hemming. It didn’t matter what it was, so long as I was able to spend time with my Mom, and create.
Periodically, she would announce that she was going to the store and if any of one of us kids wanted to join her. When there fell a silence throughout the home, I peeped up and asked, “where are you going?”. When she replied that she needed to go to the grocery store and the fabric store, I chimed in, “I’ll go with you”. I was on a natural high whenever I entered the queendom of fabricland. I LOVED, absolutely LOVED and still do LOVE entering a fabric store. There was sew much to take in, the beautiful fabrics, patterns, buttons, zippers, thread and sewing supplies. I absolutely LOVED taking my hand and laying it upon the fabrics, touching, feeling, the different textures as I walked throughout the bolts of fabric.
Starting a Project Requires a Vision
After looking at all the fabric, I would eventually settle in at the table of pattern books, perusing the pages upon pages of clothing designs. Then one or two patterns would, it seem, jump out to me and want to be created. I would go to the pattern cabinets, search out the pattern and size, then walk back through the fabric to find the one fabric that beckoned my name. Getting the nod of approval, the go ahead from my Mom, we would together collect all the required notions necessary for completing my new found creative experience. As we would drive back home, my mind would race as to the next steps to make the garment.
And, as in all projects, there are steps and trials and errors. But the one thing that has NEVER waned, is my excitement to get to the next project, the next step and, even having to figure out how to handle a challenging project or redesign.
That is and was my mother’s gift to me. Not just the creative process, not being taught a skill that she enjoyed, but the opportunity to nurture a desire with her by my side.
My mothers encouragement, guidance and support was always there. She NEVER criticised my wonky seams, or imperfect zipper installation, or uneven buttonholes. To this day, I remember having her check my work and ask for what the next step was to be. She would kindly comment, “next time, keep your eye on the seam guide”, or, “what do the directions say”. But she would NEVER say that any of my sewing was wrong or bad. And, for that I am most appreciative and grateful.
Motivation and Passion
I believe, that my Mom, as tough as it was to not say those unencouraging words, knew that she herself enjoyed the times we spent together.
Her motivation of my passion led me to studying clothing at college where I received my BS degree in Home Economics with an emphasis in Clothing and Textiles. I was fortunate to excel to the point that I created my own classes and created period pieces for the town’s historical home docents, one of which was blind. The piece I designed had to be easy for her to dress and undress by herself.
Every time I sit to create, I always feel my mother’s presence. Not sew much guiding and supporting me, but enjoying the creative process, seeing what I am going to make with me.
I am sew blessed, sew grateful, for sew much. I love the creative process as it helps me to pull out what I am meant to do and that is to create.
We are all here to create something. Whether a dress, stained glass window, painting, gardening, even plumbing and accounting. EVERY THING that we get excited about, desire the challenge, the opportunity to figure something out, is our purpose. It is our purpose that drives us and we are meant to be desirous, driven and to create whatever “it” is. And, it doesn’t matter what others say, or not say, do or not do in regards to our creative purpose. As long as it matters to me, I will continue to keep creating some thing.
My wish for all is for all to pursue their creative desire, whatever it is, and never stop.
I Am speaking my truth. At times it’s difficult for me to do so as some of you who know me, but I feel that it’s a must.
As a highly sensitive (I’m a keen intuitive spirit) individual who preaches her insightful teachings to those that want to hear. Although it may not be what they want to hear it’s what’s needed nonetheless.
It seems that I’ve been sensing a whole lot of people are hurting. Why? (see above, intuitive) because I’m hurting. There are FB posts what they are doing and who they are sharing a joy with, but underneath it all, there is a vulnerability of some battle they are fighting. Not always a big one, but some sort of battle.
Not sure exactly the specifics, but, I feel that there are a whole lot of us that are dealing with some level of heartbreak, loss, pain, regret, fear, anger, silent anger, frustration, etc. We go about our day putting on our happy face, but underneath there is some level of pain. Suffering. Wondering “when is it my turn to be happy”, or “ why not me” now.
I post enlightening, empowering FB posts because I read and practice my spirituality daily. Why? Because there is a certain amount of constant flow of uplifting vibes that I need. And, it seems that I am in need of that more now than other times. It helps me tune into my connection with spirit or God (or whatever works for you), but it reminds me that I am loved, NO MATTER WHAT, and that my purpose is to do just what I do. Breathe. Meditate. Read spiritual texts, books. To remind me of who I am, my truth. That I am one aspect of god, a sort of Godlet,
What I want to admit is that although I may post positivities, only because I love them, I do it to remind me again, and again, and again, that by doing so also corrects my subconscious mind from playing the broken record of false truths belayed upon me years and years ago. My evolution is just that, me evolving into the nextstep of my path.
I am, just as you are, an inherent good if not great person. Although sometimes, somewhere along the way, that universal known gets sidetracked and starts speedlining towards a train wreck for sure.
I know that I have the wherewithal and the tools, or toys as I like to call them, to slow that super train down of negativity and speed up the happy train. It’s not easy sometimes, but it is essential. Why? To be Me! Not anyone else. Just Me!
I’ve passed the baton to you. Be you. Not me, not your neighbor, not your best friend. Find the gumption, to stand in integrity and voice your voice, not the millions of other voices in your head or on any social media. Speak from the heart and be heard. Who needs to hear you? You because that is the only one that needs or wants you, is you! Yes, there are a lot, and I mean A LOT of people who want you, need you and love you for you being you. See, there’s a lot of YOU. Share you.
When we voice our truths, even our vulnerabilities, we release and speak so others can do the same.
When I was young I would sense things, people, places by how I felt. These feelings continue today and I am much more aware of their meanings and how to know and understand them. How? From the tools, or “toys,” as I like to call them, that I have learned throughout my life and that I use to teach, or play, with others.
Some of these toys were a struggle for me to incorporate into my daily, weekly routine. Why? Because I had built up a set routine or habit of what worked for me to survive and be happy. The more aware I became of how I felt, the more I learned what was good for me or not. Who was good to have around my life or not, based on how I felt.
Have you ever been just going along in your life, happy camper, either at home, work, or in a social setting and then for some unknown reason, suddenly, you felt drained, tense and maybe not sure of yourself? Whereas, right before said event or person or experience, you were just fine? This has to do with energy. Yours and whatever person, place or experience just arrived at your doorstep. You didn’t know it at the time and maybe brushed it aside and attributed it to being tired, or you ate something bad or whatever. But you just brushed it off, until it happened again.
When you first start the desire to become more aware, enlightened, possibly very curious as to why you think and feel a certain way at certain times and not others, it can be confusing. Starting the inquiry and maybe doing research to find the answers is a good thing, and it is letting you know that you are on your path. Becoming aware is the first success. Verbalizing the feeling and pondering it is another success. Why? Because it leads you to your next step. Your evolution.
Emotions are a Key Indicator
Our emotions, how we feel about things, people and experiences is first and foremost to discovering why we do, why we act, react, why we say, don’t say, basically respond to experiences in our life. Connecting consciously with our feelings, our internal guidance system (IGS), and choosing to listen and support that feeling, life is very good. Even if that feeling is not a good feeling. Why? Because you get the opportunity to learn, make choices and grow. You decide, do I keep this part of me? Or, do I not. And, it’s all good.
Our emotions, the way we feel is what I call,the evolution of energy. The evolution of energy looks like this, in a nutshell: I have a feeling, if the feeling continues it becomes a thought. Thought continues into a self created belief (belief system otherwise known as, BS), my belief continues into an emotional state that perpetuates into meaning (i.e. this means that, love means this, fear means that), our meaning becomes our behavior (whether we want to think it does or not), and, our behavior creates our result, an “aha” moment.
How Do You Feel?
Is there any place in your body that has more feeling than another? What is it that you are feeling? Take a mental note, write it down if you feel you must. Just be aware of the feeling. No judgement. Just awareness.
Be at peace with this feeling. When we are at peace with how we feel, good or not so good feeling, we begin a journey of deeper discovery and healing. It all depends upon your willingness to allow yourself to be real, your true self.
These moments can be humbling and enlightening. And, it’s all good. It is what you do with it that takes you to the next level or not. And, that is good too! It is a choice.
Rolling, Rolling, Rolling, Keep that Momentum Going, Or Not!
Did you notice something else in the paragraph of the evolution of energy? Momentum. A feeling became a result. And, this sometimes takes only one minute. In one minute, you can have a feeling and have a distinct result based on the momentum of that feeling. This feeling can be about others without them being present. And, therefore, one can create drama by oneself in only the matter of a single minute, sixty seconds.
So, with that said. You create your world, your day, your moment. What do you create? This is the evolution of energy, the momentum of a feeling a thought that becomes something bigger, good or bad, then all of a sudden you might even be on a rampage, good or bad, without anyone around.
If it is a bad feeling, that is energy going out into the universe and create your next moment. A very important question to ask yourself if you ever get in this fast moving train is, Why am I activating this feeling? Why am I creating this ill will? On the other hand, how would you feel if you had a good feeling and increased the momentum of that feeling into a thought and so on. That is the feeling and momentum, the evolution of positive energy that you want to attain. Why? Because it feels good and when we feel good, good things come our way.
It’s Okay to Feel your Feelings
My daily goal is to become aware of how I am feeling. If I can stay on the right track of positive and good feelings I try really hard to keep it going all day long. Why? Because I get to experience so much more empowering and enlightening feelings that feel good. And, feeling good is a good thing. What do you want to feel in your life?
Just had an energy healing. It was amazing. Uncomfortable, not so much anymore, unearthing, diving deep and being awakened to my truth is the essential benefit.
Most of my life I have been on a quest. It started with questioning why I thought or felt the way I did. Searching, being the student and learning the “Why’s” of me have been instrumental to my growth, for me, as Anne.
This last process took me back to a very early age, 1 1/2 years of age, when my father transitioned. He transitioned too soon, as far as everyone who knew him felt. Unbeknownst to me, he took with him a little part of each of us, my Mom, brother and sister.
I knew this quite a while ago after a previous journey with a Shamen here in town. What I didn’t know but suspected was that the little part of me that he took, was blocking me from being my truest self. Oh, I have done the work. First with a psychiatrist, then a therapist which eventually led me to my own research within philosophy and religion, basically, a spiritual student seeking out the highest form of assistance in uncovering who I truly am.
Positive Energy, Positive Life
I AM a child, of God, where I placed myself into a family where I would learn. Learn what my purpose is and what I needed to learn to fulfill that purpose.
There were many experiences during my early years until early adulthood and to be truthful, I’d say that it was 50/50. 50 percent of the time good and 50 percent of the time not so good. And, know that it is all good because from the not so good aspect, that was my teacher. Learning the why’s of myself and others. Not so much to fully understand but to learn what worked for me and what did not. What was truth and not my truth.
Through the years because of the healing work that I have been doing, there are certain times when I uncover a large block to reveal a very tightly protected part of my soul.
That is what occurred for me today. I am writing about it because that is part of my purpose here on this planet Earth. I am writing about it so my voice can be seen and heard. I am writing about it so others who have had any inkling, desire, or intuitive sense that “there is more to me” then meets their own eyes, to go out and search for someone who can assist them on their quest.
Trust the Energy Within
At first I thought it was scary. Oh, dear, what will they uncover. That pretty much has gone by the wayside. Why? Because I have done it enough to know that withholding that inner voice and quest for understanding the self more, only makes the pain and suffering deeper and harder when it is time to uncover. And, that is okay. It is okay because everyone is on their own path with their own time to discover and rediscover. We are here for eternity and so there is plenty of time.
If you are feeling any angst, fear, despair, hatred, resentment towards yourself or anyone else, it is time to seek help. You can find any type of healer, be it a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, Reiki, psychic or an energy healer by just asking. Ask out loud for the right healer to be brought to you. It is amazing what will show up in the form of an advertisement, a friend, a book at the bookstore or “a voice”. Be open to what you will receive. Feed the love that is you for the healing that you desire.
Allowing yourself the gift of healing is the greatest gift of all.
Phew! Got that out of the way. Breathing easier? Hope so.
Let yourself off the hook for not sticking to your resolutions. Why? Because when you made the resolution, it was at the end of one year and heading into a NEW year. Two, because when you made them you might have been influenced by someone or something else, meaning, that it really wasn’t your resolution. Because that is what people do, though you didn’t want to. Third, you didn’t have the steps necessary to make the right resolution in the first place (most likely that is the key to successful resolutions being followed through with).
A Resolution is Like a Goal
So when you make a goal, what is your terminology? Do you set a time, date for completion/accomplishment? How do you feel? Yep, that is so important. Are you excited? or anxious?
There are many aspects that play a big, okay, well, HUGE, part of achieving a resolution or goal. Let’s look at a couple, okay, maybe a handful.
Goal Setting Steps
First and foremost, look at how you feel. If you are excited then you will attract the same kind of excitement and success to your goal. If you are anxious, you are focused on the future and not now, the present moment. Very important. Why? Because you will either see the excitement along your daily day to day goal achievements which will build momentum and the achievement of the goal will happen very easily. If you are depressed or anxious, you are focused on the past or future. When that happens you more then likely will not achieve your goal or it will be a HUGE struggle because the universe is responding to how you feel, not the words you are saying. Get excited.
Second, is the terminology you are using. If you use “wish”, “hope”, “dream”, then your resolution or goal will always be just that, a wish, a hope or a dream. Basically, it’s like living a fantasy. Use empowering positive words. “I am”, “I have” are great first word starters to a resolution/goal.
Third, is action. Acting is so important as it helps the terminology and feeling supporting the resolution/goal. Act like your goal is already achieved. When you act like its already happened, see how you feel. For me when I changed how I set goals, it’s almost like a huge weight gets lifted off of me. And, the silly thing is, is to look at how many successes you’ve already had to get to where you are today. Just because you are not an astronaut, a starring ballerina or Bill Gates, does not mean that you have not been successful. You’ve learned to crawl, walk, ride a bike and so on; so why the crazy seriousness of thinking your goals are not achievable. They are achievable because you are…successful. Act like your goal has already happened.
Fourth, Is the resolution/goal logical and realistic. This is important to understand and grasp. If you are setting a goal which is really a dream or maybe a dream you had in the past or possibly someone else’s wish/hope/dream for you, then it is a vicious circle of unfulfillment. Take baby steps, if you will. In other words, it is more likely to be attainable if the goal and the steps are logical. If you’ve never written a book and you expect to write a book by the end of the year, that is NOT logical or realistic. If you’ve written A LOT, and have bits and pieces of writing that if put together could become a book, then you are on your way to being an authored and having a published book.
Fifth, be date and time specific. When we set a resolution/goal that does not state a date and time for the fruition of the resolution/goal to be achieved, then it goes on for infinity and beyond. Seriously. Setting a goal for losing 5 lbs. by March 1st, 2016 is logical, realistic, date and time specific and attainable.
Sixth. Support along the way. Gather minions or supportive people and places to assist in the achievement of your resolution/goal. Find a coach, people that support your greater good (not someone who brings you down), and find new places or even recreate your own home that supports you in achieving your goal. These are so important. Why? Because we all need people and places that give us the unconditional love, support, encouragement along the way. We CAN not do it alone, but, we can do it together. Gather your support and let them know what your goal is and ask them to check in with you and help you through the times when you think it is not going to happen.
(Mindset: Thinking of something that helps me to create healthy and positive excitement. My successes. “I have lost weight and I keep it off”)
Goal: I have lost 5 lbs. by March 1, 2016
Be easy about all of this. Give yourself permission to achieve. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat as needed. Meditate. Focus. Make an inspiration board that you can look at every day. Read inspiring books, websites, Meme’s that give you the nudge to get you past the hiccups along the way and gets you going towards your resolution/goal.
Write it down and then let it go. I know, I know, you are thinking that I’ve gone mad. Well, yes, frankly I have. Bonkers if you will. But then so many of the greatest people are bonkers. Have fun with this. Play. Color outside the box. Set the goal as the steps listed above and see what happens.
Enjoy your life, have fun every day, and blessings,
The holidays are over. Our youngest daughter just went back to college. The decorations are taken down and stored away until next year. And, to make letting go more difficult, is the memorial service we attended yesterday for an amazing 24 year old who definitely left us way too early.
Usually the holidays are difficult for me. The excitement, the decorating, the planning and purchasing of gifts and holiday events, and then the added anxiety that I sometimes get from memories of past Christmas holidays and childhood.
It wasn’t easy for me growing up, especially during the holidays. There were five of us kids, two are my full blood siblings and my other two siblings are half brothers (that’s a weird term, like as if they aren’t full whatever or we aren’t full whatever). My mother remarried after my father passed away, again, way too early.
Some Christmases are better than others, so don’t get me wrong by thinking I always get rather down during the holidays, but they do bring up my feelings it seems more so than any other time of the year. I do a lot of inner work, meditation, sewing, reading, watching old movies, counsel and being out in nature. Most of all, I look at what I have and who I have in my life and I become very, very grateful. Thankful that there are people to love and who love me. That is big for me.
That is why I really have to watch myself when I do get low. Because, I don’t want my low energy of what I’m feeling to affect others. It seems that the more I am aware of these feelings, the more I repress myself. That is when I need to allow myself to be okay with these feelings. What I need to watch out for is how long I allow myself to be in this state of low energy. The more I am in this state, the deeper I go and the longer I take to get out of it. That is what I do not want, nor should anyone else.
If you have ever been in this situation or know someone who has, then I think I may have a solution, or at least something to try. Its called a focus wheel.
The bullseye should be the ultimate place where you want to be or something to attain/have. For instance, happy, would be my inner bullseye when I have felt this way. So, then I have rippling circles away from the “happy” bullseye that get me from my low energy/down status to eventually to my “happy” place. I try not to go to fast because as always there is some resistance. So, I start at the outermost circle and feel “comfy” with where I am at. And, that is okay to have these feelings as that’s what makes us human. Then the next circle. This may be “meditation”, or “walk in nature”, or “sewing”. It is something that you know works for you that when spent time within, you feel comfortable, at ease, or maybe even transformed.
The focus wheel could be three, four or five circles surrounding the bullseye. Keep this practice up whenever you feel low or you are desiring some “thing”. Keep focusing on getting comfortable with where you are at, then get to the next inner circle. Doing this process until you reach your “bullseye” is key. Stay with it. Be comfortable with where you are at, never push yourself to do something that you are not ready for. Fo some people it takes a very short time while others much longer. Whatever your level is, is right for you. You are not someone else. Someone else is not you.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Some of them for too short a stay. But the one thing that I keep focusing on for those that leave us way to early, is the fact that their lives here on earth had a definite purpose, a grand purpose. And, it is this same purpose that I feel why they are called to heaven. Their purpose and expanse of ability to shine their light and help so much more are done in the spiritual heavenly world. Oh, we will miss them in their physical presence, but I focus on their ability that though they are gone, they are nearer and dearer to our hearts ALL OF THE TIME, no matter how many lives they touched in the physical realm, they can reach us all instantaneously from the Angelic realm. There is a grander sense of Peace.
And, for that I am eternally grateful to have had the luxury of knowing such amazing beings. Sometimes, I think that they were Angels in the physical form so we can learn this lesson. To keep us connected to God, source, Spirit, Unicorns, faeries and even pixie dust when they are gone.
To some it is the celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth day. To some it is Joy. To some it is a struggle. To some it is full of pain. And, to some it is just another day.
Why do we differ when it comes to this day?
It all depends upon what our beliefs are surrounding this time of year and this day. More then likely, it has to do with our childhood and how our parents and family celebrated, or not, Christ mas.
How do we handle how we feel surrounding the acknowledgement of Christ’s birth day? Celebrate has many forms. Some go to Church Christ mas eve as well as, Christ mas day. Some gather with family. Some gather with friends who they call family. Some go to the movies and others take a trip. No matter how we handle this time of year and this day, it is how we feel that is the most important to be aware of, our feelings.
When I focus on the Christ consciousness of this day, I relish in the knowing that I too have the same possibility of living a life of Christ consciousness. I am not Jesus, but I am a light spirit in a human body that can embody the Christ consciousness in my day to day life. Well, at least I try and work at it as best I can. So, in essence you could say that I am a working embodiment of the Christ consciousness as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
What does that mean?
It means that every day I have a routine, a set of beliefs that keep me grounded (and, in some instances ethereal, when needed), and, ultimately, a focus on the what Jesus Christ embodied. Unconditional love is key. Not having any conditions required by anyone or anything. Praying for guidance and meditating for the answers. Do I hear the messages? You bet I do. Not necessarily when I meditate, but they do come. Do I adhere to them? As best I can. And, important to note…is the question…Why do I not? Because of free will. Yes, that is what Jesus’s main messages was…was to listen to God and when you hear what It/He/She has to say whether through a song, or someone, a billboard or the wind that blows the chimes, is to take action.
Why would I do that?
Because I have found that when I or someone I know has heard the message and they or I do not adhere to the message, things happen or they don’t. Sitting here typing this blog was the message I received today and the gift I am to bestow on others. Whether you read this or not, whether you take your own action or not, is not my business. Your business is your business. The question I have for you is, What are you going to do about your messages, your gifts that God is bestowing upon you today?
Be present to the gifts that surround you now. This is in the form of appreciation and gratitude. Be grateful for the gifts in your present life will attract your ultimate desires. Wishing and hoping and praying without adhering to the messages, i.e., taking action, will keep you where you are at. And, that is okay, too. Not taking action is an action. But the question I pose for you if you do this is, When you take a moment and reflect, how many times has this come up for you in the past? Did you take action or not?
How do you Feel?
Be okay with this new awareness. Acknowledge the gift of this feeling. Why? Because it will help you to understand you. It will also give you the opportunity to rise above and learn the tools to help you along your path to further enlightenment. Should you choose to do so. If not, that is okay too. Why? Because that just might work for you. If not, take the first step in learning the tools to help you achieve the successes, the gifts, that you so hungrily desire.
Being in the moment
Is one of the toughest things to do for a lot of people. Yet, it is one of the most important ways of being. Why? Because it allows us to be present, another gift, to see the beauty that surrounds us all the time. Yes, it is true. It is out there, surrounding us, flowing through us ALL OF THE TIME. It is the eyes or glasses that we are looking through that sees this beauty, or not. When we meditate, another gift, it teaches us to slow our minds down so that when we are out in our daily life, we can truly see what is the message, the beauty, and the unconditional love that has been bestowed upon us by God. Yet, for some, they never see it. Why? Don’t know. None of my business.
What is my business?
My business is me being me, another gift, that I am, shining my light and unconditional love wherever I go to whoever I see, no matter what. Yep, that is all of our truths, Christ consciousness, duty, purpose. That is my gift to others. And, it is my gift to you.
Be in the Christ mas (more Christlike) today.
Bestow His gifts to you and yours this Christ mas day 2015. Be the light. Be the unconditional love. Breathe in and Breathe out. Be still long enough to see the beauty that God has given to you and us all. Celebrate life now and always.