The past few weeks we have been watching a family of doves nesting in our basketball hoop. I had no idea they would offer me a lesson about letting go.
I first noticed them when I was sweeping the side yard and saw bird droppings. A lot of bird droppings. I thought oh, the birds must be perching on the basketball hoop and leaving their mess. When I looked up I came face to face, well maybe 8 feet, but face to face with a mother dove perched in her nest where the backdrop and hoop meet. I quietly moved away.
Of course, not to leave something so beautiful and special alone, I went and got my camera and took a picture, quietly and slowly.
I’ve secretly watched the mother sitting in her nest and over the past several days have noticed two more little heads pop up from under her body.
Before I knew it, those two little heads grew and were almost the same size as mom.
This morning I decided to quietly take my camera and try and get another picture. I knew it had to be done soon, because of how fast they were growing and since it is spring I knew they would be leaving the nest soon.
Being Forced to Let Go Sucks
To my shock and sadness, the family was not only gone, but so was the nest.
I think about how quickly birds raise their young and then boot them out, or in this case, talon their young out the nest. Little did I know they also pack up their home and leave, completely, lock, stock, and barrel. And, in this case, twig, leaves and padding. Everything! Gone!!!
When I think of my own young, it takes quite a bit longer for them to strengthen their wings and trod on off to the great big world out there. Occasionally they come home to share, visit, get well fed, food and spiritually, but then they move on. I do so miss when they were young, although I do not miss the daily duties that keep them moving and learning, i.e., lunches, laundry, house cleaning, etc.
It made me a little sad that I would not get to look into that mother dove’s eyes any longer, connecting and sending my love to her.
Until I was sitting at the computer looking out onto my backyard. There, under the grapefruit, tree were two doves. They were cleaning themselves, walking and just enjoying themselves in my backyard. Yes, of course, I grabbed the camera. But then, I just sat there and watched and allowed them to be in their moment enjoying themselves. I did too, enjoy them and myself, connecting and being in peace. Just letting them be. Just as I need to let my young be, themselves, growing, learning and experiencing the great big world we call life.
My kids are smart, fun, creative and have a great sense of right and wrong. I know they’ll survive whatever comes their way because like the dove, we loved them, unconditionally. We may not be able to be there to always protect them. Just love them and have fun with them and knowing they have the love to survive anything.
In Texas, they tell it like it is, respectfully. In Texas and in Hawaiian culture, younger generations respect their elders, or Aunties and Uncles in Hawaiian. I was brought up to respect my elders. Why? Not because they are smarter and/or know more, well, that part is probably true, but because they deserve to be heard and to impart their wisdom on the younger generations.
I had that lesson today. I was trying to impart my opinion/philosophy on someone in their 20’s and I was rather rudely told, well, told off. WoW!
I respected their opinion and told them so, as well as, reminding them that if you post something on Facebook, then you have to be prepared to get the good response as well as the not so good. Right? Well, I am also thinking that they probably weren’t really mad at me, just upset that they have some other battle going on and I seem to have popped their balloon, maybe they weren’t having such a great day. It’s all good.
I reminded them that I loved them and I would mind my own business next time. If they want my opinion, they can ask me for it, respectfully given, and respectfully received.
I Expect Respect Because I Give It
I’ve noticed in the two climates mentioned above, Texas and Hawaii, that the young for the most part, from what I’ve seen and experienced, respect their elders. They refer to an older generation as Ma’am and Sir in Texas. I love that. And, I’ve experienced it and relish when I visit as I appreciate being honored.
Same thing in Hawaii. I’ve volunteered at a Hawaiian descendants summer camp and the first day when I was introduced to the attendee’s, the matriarch asked the children what I was to be called if they needed my help. In unison, their response was, “Auntie Anne”. Wow! When I heard them say that, I felt it in my body like a wave upon a shore, a wave of respect and love.
What I’ve also noticed in both those cultures, because Texas is a culture in and of itself. Thank God! Most everyone I’ve met actually looks me in the eye when in conversation. They hold the door for me/us and genuinely seems to care. Now I know that that is not everyone and I am sure that I’ve missed some folks who do not do the things mentioned.
Different Places Have Different Cultures
I am just saying that I’ve noticed a difference between these two cultures and climates and my own here in California. Are we too laid back, go with the flow (one of my favorite mantras)? Or, do we truly not care how we treat others especially the elder generations? I don’t really know. What I do know, is that if someone I care about whether they are my age, my children’s age or even older, I, as Aretha Franklin sings, R.E.S.P.E.C.T. them first and foremost. Even if it’s the first time meeting them.
Now if I know them well enough that I think they need some parental input, then I give it lovingly and honestly. Why? Because if I feel I need to say something, then I say it, coming from the heart. And, I let them know that I love them and that I’m saying it because it needs to be said. P.E.R.I.O.D. If I am so concerned what others think of me, then I’m going to shrivel up and die never speaking my truth. Not happening. Not in this life time.
Truth and Respect Go Hand in Hand
And, it is not just because I am a life coach or parent or friend. It is because the truth always, A.L.W.A.Y.S. prevails, always. So, if I don’t speak my truth about something to someone that I feel needs to be said, then I die and so do they, a little bit. This is what works for me. If I don’t, then it festers and over a period of time. Over that period of not voicing my heart, disease sets in and illness prevails, the death of the soul, the heart and possibly the body.
Now, what you do with what I’ve written or said, that is up to you. I am an open book, and I am willing, or should I say, W.I.L.L.I.N.G., to put myself out there in full expression of my most beautiful and amazing self, because it is no different than what Jesus did. I will gladly take the flowers and stones if that is what anyone chooses to throw my way. Why? Because that is my truth. And, I know that I speak my truth from an unconditional loving heart. Open to the gifts, whatever they are.
Please, please, please BE RESPECTFUL and speak with a loving heart.
What the heck! Although I find myself believing I’m on the forefront of my awakening, enlightenment and moving forward on my path, I’ve found that I still have repeat performances of habits and beliefs that I thought were put to rest. Why is that? Mmmm. Not sure though I believe that a lot of these repeat performances have become more profound because I see them happening and I see myself having them, in them, more aware of how I am responding in the moment. Is this such a bad thing? I think not, although I do get a little peeved with myself for not just BEing with whatever comes up.
Is it a good thing? Yes… And no!
Yes, because I am “disassociating” with my ego as it is taking me on a tug of war with whatever It is happening. And, I am able to sit, breath, assess and watch myself, feel myself BEing with it all. Knowing that I can manage my energy during the process is key. Why would I want to activate a negative energy is truly beyond me.
I know this. I am a certified spiritual life coach and have the tools to deactivate the negativity. The hard part for me now is the fact that I see it with others. The hard part being that I see it within them which is within me. With that said, it means that I have to clean up my negative, pointing the finger of blame and shame, in order to heal and find joy in every moment. It also means, that the joy is in the knowingness of this simple awareness.
Letting Go of Negativity
Now the “No” aspect of this is what I just stated, that I know I need to not be in the negativity and BE in the joy for the majority of the day…no matter what is going on outside of me. Then I will be constantly in joy and there won’t be anything other then unconditional love wherever I go.
The negativity, blame and shame pointing finger is also a resistance to allowing my truth show up. How do I know this? Because I have the tools, such as, affirmations, breath work, intention, meditation just to name a few. When I use these tools I allow myself to see that these “things” are not me, they are not who I AM. I just have kept an attachment to them because they had served a purpose long ago.
It is this attachment to, clinging to some “thing” that defined who I WAS and it got me through some thing so I kept it in my baggage. You know, that, “just in case”, I needed it to help me through something in the future.Well, I am here to say that it is time to let that go.
Stay in the Moment
Let the unfolding of my truth be the I AM in the moment, whatever happens, whatever is happening or whatever will happen. Because, as some of you may know, the only moment is in the now. Being present in the now allows me to remove myself from whatever is happening, while it is happening, and let the “whatever happening”, to just unfold, let my life unfold as it should be, could be, will be.
What this does, is to let happen happen with or without my involvement other than just BEing there, in it. When this happens I am not attaching myself to something or someone else AND, whatever that something is or someone else’s stuff is, will stay that way. Some thing, someone else’s stuff. I get to keep my energy and happy state intact and whatever be will be with or without my involvement.
When I sit for a bit with this awareness, I realize that I did forget for just a brief moment. Then I remind myself that I AM an amazing light energy in a physical body having physical experiences that is my human truth. My REAL truth is that I AM light, love and connected to the greatest source, God! God knows my truth to be the co creative light and that wherever I go I spread that to everyone that I meet and everything I see. For that is my truth.
Letting go of the habits that do not serve me any longer and allow new greater more expanding habits to enter in my life. Some may not care for the term habit, but it works for me. Some may prefer to use a term that is easier for them to use, in order to, reach their desired dreams. It is all good, all for the greater good.