I Am speaking my truth. At times it’s difficult for me to do so as some of you who know me, but I feel that it’s a must.
As a highly sensitive (I’m a keen intuitive spirit) individual who preaches her insightful teachings to those that want to hear. Although it may not be what they want to hear it’s what’s needed nonetheless.
It seems that I’ve been sensing a whole lot of people are hurting. Why? (see above, intuitive) because I’m hurting. There are FB posts what they are doing and who they are sharing a joy with, but underneath it all, there is a vulnerability of some battle they are fighting. Not always a big one, but some sort of battle.
Not sure exactly the specifics, but, I feel that there are a whole lot of us that are dealing with some level of heartbreak, loss, pain, regret, fear, anger, silent anger, frustration, etc. We go about our day putting on our happy face, but underneath there is some level of pain. Suffering. Wondering “when is it my turn to be happy”, or “ why not me” now.
I post enlightening, empowering FB posts because I read and practice my spirituality daily. Why? Because there is a certain amount of constant flow of uplifting vibes that I need. And, it seems that I am in need of that more now than other times. It helps me tune into my connection with spirit or God (or whatever works for you), but it reminds me that I am loved, NO MATTER WHAT, and that my purpose is to do just what I do. Breathe. Meditate. Read spiritual texts, books. To remind me of who I am, my truth. That I am one aspect of god, a sort of Godlet,
What I want to admit is that although I may post positivities, only because I love them, I do it to remind me again, and again, and again, that by doing so also corrects my subconscious mind from playing the broken record of false truths belayed upon me years and years ago. My evolution is just that, me evolving into the nextstep of my path.
I am, just as you are, an inherent good if not great person. Although sometimes, somewhere along the way, that universal known gets sidetracked and starts speedlining towards a train wreck for sure.
I know that I have the wherewithal and the tools, or toys as I like to call them, to slow that super train down of negativity and speed up the happy train. It’s not easy sometimes, but it is essential. Why? To be Me! Not anyone else. Just Me!
I’ve passed the baton to you. Be you. Not me, not your neighbor, not your best friend. Find the gumption, to stand in integrity and voice your voice, not the millions of other voices in your head or on any social media. Speak from the heart and be heard. Who needs to hear you? You because that is the only one that needs or wants you, is you! Yes, there are a lot, and I mean A LOT of people who want you, need you and love you for you being you. See, there’s a lot of YOU. Share you.
When we voice our truths, even our vulnerabilities, we release and speak so others can do the same.
What I love even more is listening to the questions which I must answer.
The two questions above I’ve asked myself many, many times throughout my life. Maybe not so profound in my younger life, but the message was definitely prevalent throughout my adult life.
There came a point in my life where these two questions were very much in my face, ALOT! You could say it was a mid-life crises. I say I hit the wall, pretty hard. S M A C K!
I had bumped up against it before a couple of times. Brushed myself off and kept at the same behavior only to scratch, trip or bump the wall on too many occasions.
Funny, the word crises. If you take the first 3 letters it sounds like “cry”. A crises is a cry for help. The only one who could help me at any moment is me.
When I hit the wall in my mid forties, it was because I had concretely realized that I had been a plate spinner. You know what a plate spinner is, the talented person on stage who spins 12 plates on top of very tall skinny rods. And, he keeps them all spinning. He runs around making sure the plates all stay atop the rods. It is tiring and he can’t stop running to each plate and rod. Well, that was me, figuratively speaking, but me just the same.
Meeting Other’s Needs
I was making sure everyone’s needs were met, whoever was in my life. My children, husband, extended family, home, friends, dog, and, even my friends friends, almost anyone. Anyone who seemed, to me, that I when I would hear their story and woe’s, I jumped right in and believed that they needed me to help them.
Now I believe in caring for others but, geez, it was killing me. And, what made it worse, is that not only did I know that I was doing this but a lot of my family and friends knew it too!
What did I do?
Stop… Look… Listen
I stopped. Literally. Went on a sabbatical of sorts. Some might even say that I went on strike. Was it difficult? Well, yes! For everyone. Mostly me, though. Why? Because I forgot who I was and what my purpose was. So, what I did was, I dropped plates. A lot of them. Luckily, none broke, just a little chipped, maybe. Some got a big chip. Funny, when you use a play on words because some of my plates/people got a very large chip on their shoulder.
When I didn’t show up like I had before and be for them whenever they cried for help, all of them just didn’t know what to do. Was it difficult? Yes, because I realized I really didn’t know what I wanted, so, in a lot of instances, I didn’t know how to respond to others. Whether it was listening to their story’s, jumping in and advising or requests for help,
Whoa! Time to Slow Down a Bit
Slowing my life’s train down was key to figuring it all out. This was so healing as I was able to become fully present. Awareness is key. Being in the present allowed me to see how I felt about things as they happened, in the moment. And, I was able to choose what I wanted to do or not do depending upon how I felt in that moment. Normally, I would have tried to save everyone, fix it for them.
I stopped pleasing others and am getting better at pleasing myself. When this happens it makes it a lot easier to help others. A win-win for everyone. Even if I have to say no, it is all for the greater good. Allowing others to rise to the occasion and shine their light is a good thing.
Now I get to choose. I get to relish in the beauty and light and love that it is everywhere. How? By slowing down, loving myself, picking who and what I want to play with, so, I can have fun, enjoy life and laugh, a lot!
Play is the Highest Form of Research ~ Albert Einstein
I love to giggle and play. When I do this and am in the moment, everything is brighter, more recognizable. I can see more of what really is important. I feel lighter and know that I am in direct alignment with God, my source. It’s exhilarating!
I love this time of year where I live. The leaves change color, and, it is stunning. Change. Some if not most of the time can be relatively easy, note the term relatively. It all depends upon you. For instance the fall colors, I love them, some don’t. Why? Because it also means the trees shedding their leaves and to some that appears as death. To me, it means sloughing off of the old and time to go inward. Keeping what works and get rid of what doesn’t, which is a wonderful reason for living in gratitude at all times.
Taking the time for each season as each season changes, is necessary for growth, spiritual growth and physiological. If I don’t take the time to reflect, ponder and tend to what needs tending, then, eventually, those “things” come up again and again until I take care of them or something “unexpected” happens. Tending to the “things” or beliefs or situations that are coming up for me can be tended to in several different manners. Being aware of them is first and foremost. Acknowledging that there is something that needs care and feeding. It is uncomfortable at times because depending upon what it is that I am facing within myself, I need to be mindful of how deep to ponder. If dwelling on the “thing” too long, can be debilitating and I end up spiraling too deep. Set the timer. Allow only so much time to ponder and most important, give yourself permission to be grateful, thankful for your honoring your true self.
Raking the leaves and ridding the yard of the unneeded is good for the landscape. Keeping the leaves, in certain areas, is also good. Why? Because they will compost down and help that areas health. If I let all the leaves where they lay, it is definitely not good on my driveway or sidewalk. I slip or fall, others might do the same. And, it will clog the drain causing a build up of water and other debris near the drain. As in nature, my life can be the same. There are things that I need tending to and dealt with in the appropriate manner. If I don’t, then I get clogged up and debris (dis-ease) sets in. I might get angrier then necessary, sick, paper cut, stubbed toe, etc. etc. AND, I usually know why.
It is going to be okay.
The other reason I love this time of year is it is the annual time when we give thanks for our abundance. Things such as an able body, mind, abundance in our health, friends, family and material possessions, career and purpose. And, no matter what I have or don’t have, do or don’t do, I am grateful and very thankful that I am who I am and where I am in my life. Why? Because I created and manifested what is before me and when I come from this place of appreciation, more comes my way. Thankful, very thankful.
One thought that has arisen over the last few years at this time of year is tradition. It has always been a tradition to join with friends and family on the last thursday of the year to celebrate thankfulness. Where did this come from? We all know that it was the pilgrims and indians who sat together at a table and shared food and community. But when I think about it, did they all come back together the next year and the next? How has this changed over the years? And, when did Macy’s become part of the tradition, for some? Just sayin’.
Family and tradition is what it is for those that make it so. With this I mean, my family tradition has changed. Why? Because my family changed. I changed. There were some things that just did not work out for me. Why? Frankly, sometimes I don’t know. Other times, it was the family dynamics. I live farther away and trying to please others can be quite a challenge. So, what I do is I ask myself where do I want to spend my thanksgiving and with who. Most of the time it is with my immediate family. Sometimes a friend or two will join in. Am I good with that. Yes. Do I worry how others feel about it? No. Used to but now, No. It was not serving my greater good, for whatever reason, and that is just the way it is.
When we grow up in a family under one roof, there were traditions that were kept up, recreated and adapted to the current situation. Most of the time it was a large gathering. The only reason why I may feel sad is because that tradition was not kept up. And, a lot has to do with family members that are no longer with us and because of that, the dynamics change. Yes, that is probably a “thing” that I need to ponder more, the fact that just because certain family members are gone shouldn’t be the reason I don’t attend a family tradition, but people and things change. And, that is okay.
I am thankful for the history. I am thankful for my herstory. I am thankful for the traditions of Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my traditions, old and new. I am thankful for my family, all of them. I am thankful for this country. I am thankful for friends and neighbors.
This is my belief. I take the stand for standing up for oneself, voicing what needs to be said and acting accordingly to what serves the greater good, even if it means change. Change always happens. Within one minute there are so many changes in so many things. If I follow my inner guidance of what my truth is then I live a more fulfilled life. If someone or others don’t agree, that is okay. That is their belief and I honor that. Whether they honor my belief is none of my business. Dr. Terri Cole-Whitaker states, “It is none of my business what you think of me”, and vice versa.
Our purpose is to have fun and reach our desires. Thanksgiving is the same. Find your happy place, go have fun with those you have fun with. Create abundant health by having fun. Reach your desires by finding the fun and joy where you flourish. Hence the term, “Happy Thanksgiving!”
The holidays are upon us and it can cause for some a feeling of uncomfortableness, anxiety, fear, depression, guilt and shame. My offer is for this; do what you need to do to be authentic, feel good about yourself and be grateful, thankful, appreciative for yourself and others. Most important, is to be healthy, honest and speak coming from the heart in your actions. Seek outside guidance from a licensed, certified professional if you have had in the past or currently have a difficult time with the holidays. There is no guilt or shame in the seeking of outside professional help. I did and it helps, alot.