The holidays are over. Our youngest daughter just went back to college. The decorations are taken down and stored away until next year. And, to make letting go more difficult, is the memorial service we attended yesterday for an amazing 24 year old who definitely left us way too early.
Usually the holidays are difficult for me. The excitement, the decorating, the planning and purchasing of gifts and holiday events, and then the added anxiety that I sometimes get from memories of past Christmas holidays and childhood.
It wasn’t easy for me growing up, especially during the holidays. There were five of us kids, two are my full blood siblings and my other two siblings are half brothers (that’s a weird term, like as if they aren’t full whatever or we aren’t full whatever). My mother remarried after my father passed away, again, way too early.
Some Christmases are better than others, so don’t get me wrong by thinking I always get rather down during the holidays, but they do bring up my feelings it seems more so than any other time of the year. I do a lot of inner work, meditation, sewing, reading, watching old movies, counsel and being out in nature. Most of all, I look at what I have and who I have in my life and I become very, very grateful. Thankful that there are people to love and who love me. That is big for me.
That is why I really have to watch myself when I do get low. Because, I don’t want my low energy of what I’m feeling to affect others. It seems that the more I am aware of these feelings, the more I repress myself. That is when I need to allow myself to be okay with these feelings. What I need to watch out for is how long I allow myself to be in this state of low energy. The more I am in this state, the deeper I go and the longer I take to get out of it. That is what I do not want, nor should anyone else.
If you have ever been in this situation or know someone who has, then I think I may have a solution, or at least something to try. Its called a focus wheel.
The bullseye should be the ultimate place where you want to be or something to attain/have. For instance, happy, would be my inner bullseye when I have felt this way. So, then I have rippling circles away from the “happy” bullseye that get me from my low energy/down status to eventually to my “happy” place. I try not to go to fast because as always there is some resistance. So, I start at the outermost circle and feel “comfy” with where I am at. And, that is okay to have these feelings as that’s what makes us human. Then the next circle. This may be “meditation”, or “walk in nature”, or “sewing”. It is something that you know works for you that when spent time within, you feel comfortable, at ease, or maybe even transformed.
The focus wheel could be three, four or five circles surrounding the bullseye. Keep this practice up whenever you feel low or you are desiring some “thing”. Keep focusing on getting comfortable with where you are at, then get to the next inner circle. Doing this process until you reach your “bullseye” is key. Stay with it. Be comfortable with where you are at, never push yourself to do something that you are not ready for. Fo some people it takes a very short time while others much longer. Whatever your level is, is right for you. You are not someone else. Someone else is not you.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Some of them for too short a stay. But the one thing that I keep focusing on for those that leave us way to early, is the fact that their lives here on earth had a definite purpose, a grand purpose. And, it is this same purpose that I feel why they are called to heaven. Their purpose and expanse of ability to shine their light and help so much more are done in the spiritual heavenly world. Oh, we will miss them in their physical presence, but I focus on their ability that though they are gone, they are nearer and dearer to our hearts ALL OF THE TIME, no matter how many lives they touched in the physical realm, they can reach us all instantaneously from the Angelic realm. There is a grander sense of Peace.
And, for that I am eternally grateful to have had the luxury of knowing such amazing beings. Sometimes, I think that they were Angels in the physical form so we can learn this lesson. To keep us connected to God, source, Spirit, Unicorns, faeries and even pixie dust when they are gone.
I love this time of year where I live. The leaves change color, and, it is stunning. Change. Some if not most of the time can be relatively easy, note the term relatively. It all depends upon you. For instance the fall colors, I love them, some don’t. Why? Because it also means the trees shedding their leaves and to some that appears as death. To me, it means sloughing off of the old and time to go inward. Keeping what works and get rid of what doesn’t, which is a wonderful reason for living in gratitude at all times.
Taking the time for each season as each season changes, is necessary for growth, spiritual growth and physiological. If I don’t take the time to reflect, ponder and tend to what needs tending, then, eventually, those “things” come up again and again until I take care of them or something “unexpected” happens. Tending to the “things” or beliefs or situations that are coming up for me can be tended to in several different manners. Being aware of them is first and foremost. Acknowledging that there is something that needs care and feeding. It is uncomfortable at times because depending upon what it is that I am facing within myself, I need to be mindful of how deep to ponder. If dwelling on the “thing” too long, can be debilitating and I end up spiraling too deep. Set the timer. Allow only so much time to ponder and most important, give yourself permission to be grateful, thankful for your honoring your true self.
Raking the leaves and ridding the yard of the unneeded is good for the landscape. Keeping the leaves, in certain areas, is also good. Why? Because they will compost down and help that areas health. If I let all the leaves where they lay, it is definitely not good on my driveway or sidewalk. I slip or fall, others might do the same. And, it will clog the drain causing a build up of water and other debris near the drain. As in nature, my life can be the same. There are things that I need tending to and dealt with in the appropriate manner. If I don’t, then I get clogged up and debris (dis-ease) sets in. I might get angrier then necessary, sick, paper cut, stubbed toe, etc. etc. AND, I usually know why.
It is going to be okay.
The other reason I love this time of year is it is the annual time when we give thanks for our abundance. Things such as an able body, mind, abundance in our health, friends, family and material possessions, career and purpose. And, no matter what I have or don’t have, do or don’t do, I am grateful and very thankful that I am who I am and where I am in my life. Why? Because I created and manifested what is before me and when I come from this place of appreciation, more comes my way. Thankful, very thankful.
One thought that has arisen over the last few years at this time of year is tradition. It has always been a tradition to join with friends and family on the last thursday of the year to celebrate thankfulness. Where did this come from? We all know that it was the pilgrims and indians who sat together at a table and shared food and community. But when I think about it, did they all come back together the next year and the next? How has this changed over the years? And, when did Macy’s become part of the tradition, for some? Just sayin’.
Family and tradition is what it is for those that make it so. With this I mean, my family tradition has changed. Why? Because my family changed. I changed. There were some things that just did not work out for me. Why? Frankly, sometimes I don’t know. Other times, it was the family dynamics. I live farther away and trying to please others can be quite a challenge. So, what I do is I ask myself where do I want to spend my thanksgiving and with who. Most of the time it is with my immediate family. Sometimes a friend or two will join in. Am I good with that. Yes. Do I worry how others feel about it? No. Used to but now, No. It was not serving my greater good, for whatever reason, and that is just the way it is.
When we grow up in a family under one roof, there were traditions that were kept up, recreated and adapted to the current situation. Most of the time it was a large gathering. The only reason why I may feel sad is because that tradition was not kept up. And, a lot has to do with family members that are no longer with us and because of that, the dynamics change. Yes, that is probably a “thing” that I need to ponder more, the fact that just because certain family members are gone shouldn’t be the reason I don’t attend a family tradition, but people and things change. And, that is okay.
I am thankful for the history. I am thankful for my herstory. I am thankful for the traditions of Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my traditions, old and new. I am thankful for my family, all of them. I am thankful for this country. I am thankful for friends and neighbors.
This is my belief. I take the stand for standing up for oneself, voicing what needs to be said and acting accordingly to what serves the greater good, even if it means change. Change always happens. Within one minute there are so many changes in so many things. If I follow my inner guidance of what my truth is then I live a more fulfilled life. If someone or others don’t agree, that is okay. That is their belief and I honor that. Whether they honor my belief is none of my business. Dr. Terri Cole-Whitaker states, “It is none of my business what you think of me”, and vice versa.
Our purpose is to have fun and reach our desires. Thanksgiving is the same. Find your happy place, go have fun with those you have fun with. Create abundant health by having fun. Reach your desires by finding the fun and joy where you flourish. Hence the term, “Happy Thanksgiving!”
The holidays are upon us and it can cause for some a feeling of uncomfortableness, anxiety, fear, depression, guilt and shame. My offer is for this; do what you need to do to be authentic, feel good about yourself and be grateful, thankful, appreciative for yourself and others. Most important, is to be healthy, honest and speak coming from the heart in your actions. Seek outside guidance from a licensed, certified professional if you have had in the past or currently have a difficult time with the holidays. There is no guilt or shame in the seeking of outside professional help. I did and it helps, alot.