Who are you living for?
What are you living for?
I love questions!
What I love even more is listening to the questions which I must answer.
The two questions above I’ve asked myself many, many times throughout my life. Maybe not so profound in my younger life, but the message was definitely prevalent throughout my adult life.
There came a point in my life where these two questions were very much in my face, ALOT! You could say it was a mid-life crises. I say I hit the wall, pretty hard. S M A C K!
I had bumped up against it before a couple of times. Brushed myself off and kept at the same behavior only to scratch, trip or bump the wall on too many occasions.
Funny, the word crises. If you take the first 3 letters it sounds like “cry”. A crises is a cry for help. The only one who could help me at any moment is me.
When I hit the wall in my mid forties, it was because I had concretely realized that I had been a plate spinner. You know what a plate spinner is, the talented person on stage who spins 12 plates on top of very tall skinny rods. And, he keeps them all spinning. He runs around making sure the plates all stay atop the rods. It is tiring and he can’t stop running to each plate and rod. Well, that was me, figuratively speaking, but me just the same.
Meeting Other’s Needs
I was making sure everyone’s needs were met, whoever was in my life. My children, husband, extended family, home, friends, dog, and, even my friends friends, almost anyone. Anyone who seemed, to me, that I when I would hear their story and woe’s, I jumped right in and believed that they needed me to help them.
Now I believe in caring for others but, geez, it was killing me. And, what made it worse, is that not only did I know that I was doing this but a lot of my family and friends knew it too!
What did I do?
Stop… Look… Listen
I stopped. Literally. Went on a sabbatical of sorts. Some might even say that I went on strike. Was it difficult? Well, yes! For everyone. Mostly me, though. Why? Because I forgot who I was and what my purpose was. So, what I did was, I dropped plates. A lot of them. Luckily, none broke, just a little chipped, maybe. Some got a big chip. Funny, when you use a play on words because some of my plates/people got a very large chip on their shoulder.
When I didn’t show up like I had before and be for them whenever they cried for help, all of them just didn’t know what to do. Was it difficult? Yes, because I realized I really didn’t know what I wanted, so, in a lot of instances, I didn’t know how to respond to others. Whether it was listening to their story’s, jumping in and advising or requests for help,
Whoa! Time to Slow Down a Bit
Slowing my life’s train down was key to figuring it all out. This was so healing as I was able to become fully present. Awareness is key. Being in the present allowed me to see how I felt about things as they happened, in the moment. And, I was able to choose what I wanted to do or not do depending upon how I felt in that moment. Normally, I would have tried to save everyone, fix it for them.
I stopped pleasing others and am getting better at pleasing myself. When this happens it makes it a lot easier to help others. A win-win for everyone. Even if I have to say no, it is all for the greater good. Allowing others to rise to the occasion and shine their light is a good thing.
Now I get to choose. I get to relish in the beauty and light and love that it is everywhere. How? By slowing down, loving myself, picking who and what I want to play with, so, I can have fun, enjoy life and laugh, a lot!
Play is the Highest Form of Research ~ Albert Einstein
I love to giggle and play. When I do this and am in the moment, everything is brighter, more recognizable. I can see more of what really is important. I feel lighter and know that I am in direct alignment with God, my source. It’s exhilarating!
I am so blessed.
I am so grateful.
Anne K. Ross